On the way to the shower today, mom, Patty and I were talking in the car as I pointed the way to Cori’s mom’s house, a road I’ve been down many a time over the past few years… a time or two, even in the wee hours. Already I was very sentimental, but determined not to be emotional… yet.
As we made the final turn on the road that would take us to their beautiful country home, we could see balloons and cars and women already gathering. I said, “Does anyone else get a little knot in their stomach when you’re about to go into a place where there’s a big group of all women?” In unison mom and Patty replied, “Yeah!” and we laughed.
We all three grew up around a lot of men and boys – girls too, of course – but spending so much time with dads, granddads, brothers, uncles, cousins, and guy friends, it was always balanced for each of us. We were never ones to stick too long around gossip, emotionally-centered conversations, or drama. In moderation, of course – we ARE women, after all. But most of our conversation men would find themselves able to join. Unlike these ladies here…
hahaha… run!!!
When the men and women sometimes divide into separate conversation groups, when socially possible, I often find myself wandering back towards the men’s group from time to time. Sometimes they’re just better to overhear. The women are usually talking about so-and-so’s terrible divorce, this one’s dramatic, near-death labor, or some story fraught with emotion. The men are usually telling other kinds of stories… sometimes really, really boring, but rarely upsetting.
Do they look stressed?
The best groups in my opinion are mixed groups – the balance is just right for me. Mom and Patty – and most of my female friends, I find - feel the same way.
see? Everybody’s happy. 
This subject wasn’t the best one for us to ponder as we prepared to go into a baby shower. But, in we went, and I will tell you, we had a great time! This was a good group of ladies – a mix of young, middle aged, and older women. The drama factor stayed low, and we laughed a LOT. (Champagne in the punch is a good idea too, ladies.) And usually if there are amazing desserts, we’re all too happy stuffing our faces to get emotional or dramatic! :)
After we’d all sat down to watch Cori open her gifts, which I was thrilled to see were in bountiful supply, I often found myself tuning out whatever talk was going on around me. This wasn’t because I was wanting to “escape” (as described above). I was looking at this or that piece of furniture I remembered from years past. I looked at the window seat where I’d sat with my journals at 4 am one night when I had stayed over and couldn’t sleep; Cori didn’t want to be in the big house in the middle of nowhere while her parents had gone.
I saw the kitchen, where we’d spread Chinese carry-out and eaten from the boxes over the sink. All around the walls and in the albums were family photos, and Cori in all the different stages of her life. I looked at her hands as she was opening her presents, looking exactly the same as they did when we met eleven years ago. Now they’re the hands of a mother. All of the “classic Cori” expressions I’ve come to know I could see in her baby pictures, and it was good to see them again in person.
Cori, unposed
I wanted to sneak off alone and walk through the house into the rooms where I’d spent time before, often in times where things weren’t going so well for Cori – times of hard change or uncertainty. We’d had some happy times there too, and I feel a deep affection for her parents and that house. I did a “photo shoot” of her there once (where these pics are from.) How much has changed since then!
I love this house. She left it soon, in my reckoning, but I know that’s how things had to be. This baby brings a new chapter to life, but also closes one, and as I sat there today, rather than look ahead to the new pages, I wanted to linger over the old ones a while.
“reflections of time”… from Cori’s old room
Life can change so quickly. Maybe we wouldn’t have it any other way, but I sure do find myself, even at this young age of 22, trying to slow it all down and savor each season as much as possible. Oh, Cori. How fast things will change from now on! Are you ready for this? I suppose none of us are when it first arrives. You have to just keep going along, adjusting and evolving as you go.
And always… keep taking pictures.
she never knew I took this one!
